I can’t see clearly now…

24 Feb

IMG_2061Been a bit of a stressful week, one where I had to confront the fact I had too much on my plate. Dropped out of a collaborative writing project because between learning the ropes at my job and producing Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa, I have precious little energy left.

After Bun died, I thought I should get Pie a companion to cheer him up. I thought wrong. Pie didn’t take well to the baby bunny I got (who Calvin has named Ignatius aka Iggy) so I took Iggy inside, leaving Pie to claim the backyard. And I foolishly thought I should get Iggy company too…so I got Pop. Iggy and Pop, get it? Calvin insists Pop’s real name is Zoe. Wishful thinking.

Unfortunately, I’d thought Pop would be placid and docile company for Iggy. Wrong. Pop is a little scamp (she’s the tiny one with a star on her forehead) who will run everywhere if I leave her unsupervised. Iggy on the other hand prefers to just stay in his cage, stuffing his face. Which explains why he’s already gained a fair bit of weight in the 2 days that I got him. He sits, chews, snuffles around for something to eat…and that’s about it. When I put him on my lap, he attempted to nibble on my dress.

Busy PR job, busy in my after hours producing a play…I don’t forsee dating in my future this year at least. But a girl gets lonely sometimes so hey, cuddling a bunny will just have to do. At least I won’t have to worry about one of them giving me the ‘commitment’ talk.

Unfortunately stress levels have gone sky high. Whenever I get stressed, my eyesight deteriorates so I’m pretty much seeing double while I type – my astig’s gone up temporarily, but will return to normal once I pay my sleep debts.

How’s PR? Do I still love it? I’ll always be a writer. It’s my vocation. It’s the one thing I do better than anything else I manage but I don’t miss publishing. In Malaysia, editorial takes a back seat to sales and marketing – inevitable because we don’t have the circulation to stay afloat sans advertisers.

What I like about PR is the excitement of the pitch, the challenge of using ingenuity and sometimes, sheer tenacity, to get points across. It’s hard work but there’s a lot of satisfaction to be had at the end of the day. I’m still learning the ropes and I’m getting a lot of help along the way. But I did end up talking to my boss about standard operating procedures, and processes. I like structure, having a framework to build on. When needed to, I can wing some things but in the end, I need something to hold on to – roots if you will.

I’ve always been a systems sort of person – I like creating systems though it doesn’t mean I’m the neatest person on the block. Am schizo that way. Today you’ll see my desk cluttered with stuff, the next you’ll see it devoid of anything but the essentials. I can live with a little clutter, but past a certain level, I can’t think and will just en masse cull things mercilessly.

Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight because it’s painful to squint at everything. Would be asleep too, if a little scamp didn’t wake me up by prodding me with her nose to play. And I just went out in the rain to rescue the stubborn Pie who refuses to get in his nice, dry cage and was emo-ing in corner while raindrops fell on his head. Pie is now safely in his cage with his favourite hay. Can’t keep him indoors because he’s just not made for indoor living and I can’t give him the running space he needs in the house. Iggy and Pop are tiny, and won’t grow past 1kg or so each, but Pie’s a huge fellow who needs all the space my backyard gives him. Not to mention he thrives on hay and certain plants that grow wild in my ‘garden’.

Right now – I want my sight back. I want time to ride my bike. I want to learn to play the keyboards – since my bro moved in with an ancient but perfectly servicable synth. And now, my body wants to sleep.

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