Archive | April, 2010

Facing the fear

15 Apr

“So you begin the process of spiritual healing by listening to your unconscious.

Examine your dreams.

Explore your pain and anger.

Face up to the terror of your inner loneliness.

Find strength in your weakness.

Overcome your fear of losing your identity by giving it up willingly.

With devotion and discipline, you will discover the ability to give up your pride, forgive those who have hurt you, and give of yourself in pure love.

And then you will be on the path of life and healing.”


Captaining a ship, ahoy!

7 Apr

It’s my third day being editorial head for a brandspanking new site.

I am expected to chart a course, editorial-wise and of course, that sounds exciting.

Now, the problem is that I’m somewhat fuzzy about the whole, you know, starting.

First the euphoria: OMG shiny new project, huzzah!

Second: Ooh, wow, I have my own team, double huzzah!

Third: Reality starts sinking in after Meeting Number Eleventy Hundred. Reality dictates that I actually have to be starting something.

There is, first of all, the understanding that we’re supposed to meet a target. XXX unique visitors per day.

Now, to achieve said aim, you have to give people incentives to come, right? Right. Idealist I might be, but I don’t know if I can get people to come on the basis of content alone. Insert notions of shiny, dangly things.

“But this is a community site! Shouldn’t people be getting all hot and bothered and wanting to highlight their issues and grievances?”

The more realistic side of me realises that getting Malaysians off their arses to, you know, do more than yak about their issues at the mamak or coffee shop will take work. I am this close, really, to just Twitter/FB/Linked-In/MySpace spam everyone with ‘EMAIL ME! EMAIL ME!’

Obviously that is not a wise recourse.

So I will have to resort to that time honoured practise: picking other people’s brains. Mine is currently fuzzy and full of pictures of kittens. Loyal minions are off to investigate community grievances so I will, alas, have to wait until they come back. And in the meantime, spam everyone with EMAIL ME!

Operation New Diet – Day 00

4 Apr

Lose weight? Me?

So I’m starting a new diet tomorrow. Of course Greg thinks it’s ludicrous because I’m trying out the Blood Type diet.  His prescription would require him to eat lots of veg.

Anathema for him since he’s a man who likes his meat, the way I do.

I’m at a nice healthy weight right now so why am I attempting this lifestyle change?

It’s because after reading Live Right for Your Type, I think the plan would make sense for me. Have been constantly fatigued, plagued with stomach problems and weathering my ever-constant-friend, clinical depression.

So it’s important I start looking after myself now. I’m tired of being and looking tired. From what I’ve scoured over the Internet, Type Os like me seem to do particularly well on the diet. Probably due to it cutting out things I have problems with digesting, such as gluten products and dairy.

Basically, I can eat red meat, certain vegetables and fruits, oily fish but must avoid gluten or wheat, pork, potatoes, tomatoes, sour fruits like oranges and strawberries.  Oh, and no dairy.

I do love me some whole milk and cheese but my body doesn’t love me for it. Have always preferred red meat and had an aversion to most of the ‘avoid’ foods on the list. It also encourages me to eat romaine lettuce, which I love as well as root vegetables such as carrots.

No coffee, chocolate or alcohol either. Bummer.

The hardest thing about the new regime is the grueling exercise it insists I need. I like telling people the only exercise I get is getting in and out of bed. But blogging about it should be fun!

Progress Day 00

Went to Cold Storage for groceries. Have brought tuna, herring, beef, plums, bananas, romaine lettuce. Should do me for the week. Had a nibble of herring and am chewing  on a raw carrot as we speak. Will have a plum  a little bit later.

Tomorrow the plan is to run a fartlek route tomorrow. That will require me waking up at 7am, argh.

Current weight: 60kg

Enthusiasm levels: Meh

Another jump

4 Apr

“Jump first, fear later.” – SK the potato-lover

I did a lot of jumping in 2009 and landed on my face more than my feet.

So here I am, bruised, broken and about to take another jump. Maybe I’ll fly. Maybe I’ll fall into the sea again.

I lost my faith in many things in 2009: God, my capabilities, love and people I once cared about.

But I made new friends. I learned new things about life and myself that I wouldn’t have learned otherwise.

All the fire and pain burned away illusions and left me with new truths.

And as always He has been waiting, holding out a hand.

I take it and dance into a new day and a new beginning.