Archive | April, 2011

Of dwarf pimps and getting into trouble

3 Apr

No beard. No huge ax. No penchant for singing about gold. He prefers to keep it real by, oh, wearing the bling?

See, Beth and me are in a fix. We’re out of a job after working off our contract with Athenril, the elven smuggler. Athenril would have kept us on but though the money was good, dodging the guard and trying not to get killed by the competition? Not so good.

Then an interesting gig popped up.

Expedition to Deep Roads. Lots of treasure. Sounded good but we couldn’t get in. Bertrand, the leader of the expedition, was one surly dwarf. He said he didn’t need any more humans tagging along.

Guess what? Varric’s Bertrand’s brother.

Not that it meant instant access, no. Varric’s idea – we join as partners. Supply 50 gold sovereigns and we’re in. See, Bertrand may not need any more hands but he needs more money to fund the expedition.

All we need to do is raise the money, he says. So just like the old days me and Beth are doing mercenary work for gold.

“Oh, by the way…” Varric says we need maps too. Seems the best source of said maps is a runaway Grey Warden. Also an apostate mage.

Anders

Meet Anders. Tall, handsome, likes cats, has a pro-bono clinic for the poor.

There’s one little problem…that I’ll tell you about tomorrow.

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Introducing my Alter Ego

2 Apr
Isadora

After my first playthrough of Dragon Age 2, like any real addict I started again.

The earlier game, I played a virtuous warrior who was all good and diplomatic. But not opposed to putting a sword through pesky bandits when needed.

This time around, I decided to roll a rogue. Say hello to Isadora Hawke, future Champion of Kirkwall.

Why the obvious Caucasian model, Erna? Why not play someone/something against type?

Dragon Age 2 is set in Kirkwall and standard vanilla fantasy where mostly everyone is Caucasian-looking, even the pimp narrator dwarf.

My sister on the other hand always makes her Dragon Age characters look like her. With the added benefit of being able to cast fireballs.

Sadly, even in Dragon Age I'm saddled with an annoying sister. The game gave me a brother too, but an ogre smushed him. He was the whiniest in the family, so that's OK.

One cool thing about Dragon Age 2 is the character dialogue options, which mostly consist of:

a) nice and safe
b) snarky
c) I WILL CRUSH YOU

Option C will make your game, like, three times harder? I chose B for the LOLs.

I suppose I have some things in common with my dual-wielding rogue. If the pen is mightier than the sword, than I write like a rogue – always aiming for the jugular. Why settle for a sword when daggers are more fun?

BRB, the dwarf with a lot of chest hair just made me an offer I can't refuse.